Dad Joke of the Day: Today’s Groaner + 366 Best Dad Jokes (2026)

Here is your dad joke of the day, fresh every morning at midnight. Tap to reveal the punchline, rate the groan, and come back tomorrow for a brand-new one. Want more? Flip back to yesterday’s joke, peek at tomorrow’s, or type in any date, like your birthday, to see the dad joke assigned to that day.

Below the daily joke you will find our full collection of 366 dad jokes, one for every day of the year, sorted by topic: the best dad jokes of all time, brand-new dad jokes for 2026, dad jokes for kids and adults, Thanksgiving and Christmas dad jokes, and plenty of bad, corny dad jokes that are so bad they are good. Every joke here is clean and family-friendly.

How the dad joke of the day works

Every date on the calendar has its own joke, so everyone who visits on the same day sees the same dad joke. That makes it perfect for sharing in the family group chat, writing on the office whiteboard or reading out at breakfast. The jokes even follow the seasons: you get spooky dad jokes in October, Thanksgiving dad jokes all through November and Christmas dad jokes in December. A new joke unlocks every night at midnight, your local time.

Date	Your dad joke theme
October	Spooky (but clean) dad jokes
November	Thanksgiving and turkey dad jokes
December	Christmas, holiday and winter dad jokes
January	New Year’s and winter dad jokes
June 21, 2026 (Father’s Day)	A special dad-life joke
Every other day	A mix of food, animal, science, sports, tech and classic dad jokes

Best dad jokes of all time

These are the legends, the funniest dad jokes and the dad jokes that get passed down from generation to generation, the ones every dad seems to know by heart. If you only memorize ten, start here.

1. I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me.
2. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
3. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
4. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
5. I’m hungry. Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.
6. I would tell you a construction joke. But I’m still working on it.
7. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
8. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
9. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
10. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
11. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
12. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Then I found out it was a loafing job.
13. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was a natural at field work.
14. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
15. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
16. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
17. Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it’s tearable.
18. Why did the man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
19. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
20. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
21. Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
22. I asked my dog what two minus two is. He said nothing.
23. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two.
24. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know which comes first.
25. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
26. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
27. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
28. I’m terrified of elevators. So I’m taking steps to avoid them.
29. What did the janitor say when he won the lottery? I’m finally cleaning up.
30. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
31. Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
32. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine. He woke up.
33. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
34. I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
35. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
36. I hate jokes about German sausages. They’re the wurst.
37. What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
38. I just found out I’m colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
39. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
40. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
41. I have a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
42. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.

Dad jokes 2026: brand-new groaners for the AI age

Dads have upgraded. Smart fridges, robot vacuums, chatbots and electric cars have given dad jokes a whole new set of targets in 2026.

1. Why did the AI cross the road? It predicted the chicken would.
2. My smart fridge is so polite. It always says cool things about me.
3. Why did the robot vacuum get a promotion? It really picked up the slack.
4. How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
5. Why did the electric car feel so positive? It was fully charged.
6. Why don’t AI chatbots ever get lost? They always follow the prompt.
7. Why did the phone go to school? To get a little smarter.
8. What’s a robot’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
9. Why did the drone get grounded? It wouldn’t stop hovering over its kids.
10. What’s a computer’s favorite beat? An algo-rhythm.
11. Why did the password go to therapy? It had too many characters.
12. What did the router say to the doctor? It hurts when IP.
13. Why are video calls like weddings? Everyone stares at themselves the whole time.
14. Why did the laptop sneeze? It had a virus.
15. Why did the smart home break up with the old house? It found someone more connected.
16. What do you call a dinosaur that streams video games? A Twitch-osaurus.
17. Why don’t keyboards sleep? They always have a space bar open.
18. What’s a ghost’s favorite app? Snap-boo.
19. Why did the cloud storage go to therapy? It had too much baggage.
20. What did the AI say to the bad joke? That doesn’t compute.
21. Why was the TV remote always lost? It was too good at channel surfing.

Dad jokes for kids

Short, silly and easy to understand, these dad jokes for kids are perfect for lunchbox notes, car rides and bedtime. Pair them with our riddles for kids for a full giggle session.

1. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
2. What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piz-zzzz-a.
3. What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
4. Why did the kid bring a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains.
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
6. Why did the crayon get in trouble? It wouldn’t stay inside the lines.
7. What’s a superhero’s favorite drink? Fruit punch.
8. What do elves do after school? Their gnome-work.
9. What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
10. Why did the banana use sunscreen? It didn’t want to peel.
11. What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open-toad sandals.
12. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
13. How do you talk to a giant? Use big words.
14. What has ears but can’t hear? A cornfield.
15. Why did the student bring scissors to class? She wanted to cut class short.
16. What do you call a sheep that does karate? A lamb chop.
17. What do you call a mouse that swears? A cursor.
18. Why did the kid sit on his watch? He wanted to be on time.
19. Why was the math book so sad? It had too many problems.
20. How do you make a lemon laugh? Tickle its zest.
21. What do you call a T. rex that’s always on time? A clock-osaurus.
22. Why did the cat join the Red Cross? She wanted to be a first-aid kit.
23. What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
24. What’s a snake’s favorite subject? Hiss-tory.
25. What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
26. What did the paper say to the pencil? Write on!
27. What do you call a bunny with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
28. Why did the girl bring her dog to the library? It wanted to read a ruff draft.

Animal dad jokes

1. What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
3. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
4. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
5. Why are spiders great at web design? They know how to find bugs.
6. What do you call an owl with a deep voice? A growl.
7. Why was the dog sitting in the shade? He didn’t want to be a hot dog.
8. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
9. What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey.
10. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
11. What do you call a cat that loves bowling? An alley cat.
12. Why don’t sharks eat clowns? They taste funny.
13. What do you call a snake that builds houses? A boa constructor.
14. What do you call a turtle that takes up photography? A snapping turtle.
15. Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
16. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s? A wise quacker.
17. How do fleas travel? They itch-hike.
18. What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog.
19. What do you call a camel with no hump? Humphrey.
20. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.
21. What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
22. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
23. Why did the owl invite his friends over? He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
24. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
25. What do you call a horse with a cold? A little hoarse.
26. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
27. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? Irrelephant.
28. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A candy baa.

Dad jokes for adults

Grown-ups need dad jokes too. These are still clean, but they hit closer to home: kids, chores, money and the joys of being a parent.

1. I asked my kids if they knew what a ‘joke’ was. They said, ‘Dad, you are one.’
2. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
3. I’ll call you later. Don’t call me Later. Call me Dad.
4. What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
5. Dad, can you put my shoes on? I don’t think they’ll fit me.
6. Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.
7. Dad, I’m cold. Go stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.
8. Why did Dad bring a ladder to the barbecue? He heard the steaks were high.
9. Can I watch the TV? Yes, but don’t turn it on.
10. Dad, make me a sandwich. Poof, you’re a sandwich.
11. Do you want a box for your leftovers? No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
12. What do you call a dad who’s fallen through the ice? A pop-sicle.
13. My son asked if I’d seen the dog bowl. I didn’t know he could.
14. Where are the car keys? On the key-board, of course.
15. Is the bathroom free? No, it cost me a fortune to renovate.
16. Dad, can you help me with my homework? I wouldn’t feel right, son. You should do it yourself.
17. Dad, are we there yet? Yes. Get out of the car. Just kidding.
18. Dad, can you tell me a joke about time? Sure, but it’ll take a minute.
19. Dad, how do I look? With your eyes, mostly.
20. Can you set the table? Sure, it’s now a table.

Money dad jokes

1. Why did the dollar bill break up with the coin? It wanted someone with more cents.
2. Why are calendars so popular? They have a lot of dates.
3. How do you make a million dollars as a dad? Start with two million and buy a boat.
4. Why did the piggy bank go to school? To learn more cents.
5. What did the bank say to the ATM? You’re just a cash machine to me.
6. Why did the credit card go to therapy? It had a lot of charges against it.
7. Why did the dime roll away? It wanted to make some change.
8. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold, hard cash.
9. Why did the coin go to therapy? It felt like it had no sense.
10. Why are birds so bad with money? Everything goes cheep.
11. What did the penny say to the dollar? You make cents to me.

Bad dad jokes (so bad they’re good)

Looking for funny dad jokes that make people groan first and laugh second? Warning: these are pure pun. Read them out loud, wait for the groan, then act like you just told the funniest joke in history.

1. I used to be a banker. But I lost interest.
2. I’m reading a horror book in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
3. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
4. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
5. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke. But you didn’t like it.
6. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing? Someone put on the salsa.
7. I’m friends with all the electricians. We have good current connections.
8. Why do I love the rotation of the Earth? It really makes my day.
9. Why did I give up on being a vegetarian? It was a big missed steak.
10. What do you think of Velcro? What a rip-off.
11. I had a dream I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
12. Why did the cross-eyed teacher retire? He couldn’t control his pupils.
13. I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case.
14. I’m addicted to brake fluid. But I can stop anytime.
15. Dad jokes are like bad haircuts. They grow on you.

The anatomy of a dad joke

Why do dad jokes work? Every one follows the same five-part formula: a normal setup, a double meaning, a straight-faced punchline, a groan and, finally, a secret smile.

There is even some science behind them. Humor researcher Marc Hye-Knudsen of Aarhus University has suggested that dad jokes are a playful way of teaching kids to handle embarrassment: when Dad keeps joking through the groans, kids learn not to take themselves too seriously. As he put it, the dad joke requires a dad who can laugh at himself. You can read more in this Fatherly interview.

Thanksgiving dad jokes

Thanksgiving 2026 falls on Thursday, November 26, and no Thanksgiving dinner is complete without a few turkey puns. Save these for the moment the pie comes out.

1. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off.
2. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
3. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
4. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler.
5. Why did the pie go to a therapist? It felt crust-rated.
6. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself.
7. What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google, google.
8. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected fowl play.
9. What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrim-age.
10. Why do pilgrims’ pants keep falling down? Their belt buckles are on their hats.
11. What does a turkey wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
12. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
13. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
14. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
15. What did the mother turkey say to her kids? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.
16. Why did the pumpkin pie go to the party? It wanted to get a slice of the action.
17. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
18. What do you call a turkey that tells dad jokes? A gobble-de-groaner.

Christmas and winter dad jokes

Holiday season means maximum dad joke season. For even more festive puns, see our Christmas jokes and count the days with our Christmas countdown.

1. Why did the gingerbread house get an award? It had great curb appeal.
2. What do you call a candle that tells dad jokes? Wick-ed funny.
3. Why did the ornament get a raise? It really brightened up the tree.
4. How do you know a present is from Dad? It’s wrapped in duct tape.
5. Why was the Christmas tree so good at knitting? It never dropped its needles.
6. What do you call a Christmas tree with a sunburn? Fir-ocious.
7. Why did the New Year’s resolution go on vacation? It needed a break by January 3.
8. What did the fireworks say on New Year’s Eve? Let’s have a blast.
9. Why do New Year’s Eve parties feel so long? They go on until next year.
10. Why did Dad wrap his gifts in newspaper? He wanted them to be the latest news.

1. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
2. How do you know it’s cold outside? You see a dog chasing a cat and they’re both walking.
3. Why are snowflakes good at parties? They know how to break the ice.
4. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
5. What’s a snowman’s favorite drink? Iced tea.
6. How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers.
7. What do you call a reindeer that tells dad jokes? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Groaner.
8. What do you call a snowman who tells dad jokes? Frosty the Groan-man.
9. Why did the sweater go to the doctor? It was feeling a little pilled.
10. Why don’t mittens ever argue? They always go hand in hand.
11. What did the snow say to the road? I’ve got you covered all winter.
12. Why do hot chocolate and marshmallows make a great team? They’re always in hot water together.
13. What do you call a sled that tells stories? A slay-tale.

Dad jokes for work

Need an icebreaker for Monday’s meeting? These office-safe dad jokes are made for Slack channels, team huddles and the break room whiteboard.

1. I told my boss three companies were after me. He asked which ones. I said gas, electric and water.
2. Why did the job interview go well for the clock? It had great timing.
3. Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? He couldn’t concentrate.
4. Why was the mathematician bad at his desk job? He kept counting on others.
5. Why did the pencil get the job? It had a great point.
6. What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink? Subpoena colada.
7. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
8. What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea? Denis.
9. Why was the electrician so calm? He knew how to stay grounded.
10. What did the coffee say to the boss? You can’t fire me, I’m grounds for promotion.
11. Why did the cleaning lady quit? She was swept off her feet by a better offer.
12. I used to work at a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
13. I quit my job at the helium factory. I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
14. What did the office printer say to the paper? Stop being so jam-packed.
15. Why did the calendar get a promotion? It had a lot of good days.
16. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
17. Why did the developer quit his job? He didn’t get arrays.
18. What do you call a fish who works at a hospital? A sturgeon.
19. Why did the construction worker get promoted? He laid a strong foundation.
20. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.

Food dad jokes

1. Why did the cookie go to the nurse? It felt crummy.
2. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
3. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Hallou-mi.
4. What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
5. I just burned 2,000 calories. I left the pizza in the oven too long.
6. What do you call a sandwich that tells jokes? A pun-ini.
7. Why did the chef quit? He lost his thyme.
8. What kind of tree fits in a soda can? A pop-lar.
9. How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.
10. What did the mayonnaise say when the fridge door opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.
11. Why did the cucumber need a lawyer? It was in a pickle.
12. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
13. What do you get when you cross a dog and a cauliflower? A collie-flower.
14. What did the salad say to the fork? You really know how to get to the point.
15. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
16. Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
17. What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed? Holy guacamole.
18. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s pop corn?
19. Why do french fries make good detectives? They always ketchup with the truth.
20. What do you call a pile of cats that cook? Meow-sterchefs.
21. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
22. Why did the scarecrow love the vegetable patch? It was the beet place in town.
23. What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeno business.
24. Why did the fisherman put peanut butter in the sea? To go with the jellyfish.
25. What did the bread say to the jam? Let’s spread the news.
26. Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a chocolate filling.
27. What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
28. Why did the student eat a dictionary? Someone said it was full of tasty words.
29. How do you make an egg roll? You push it.

Science and math dad jokes

1. I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
2. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, you might as well barium.
3. Why are chemists great at solving problems? They have all the solutions.
4. What did the photon say at check-in? No bags, I’m traveling light.
5. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell Prize.
6. What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into the other? Sorry, my fault.
7. Why can’t you trust an electron? It’s always negative.
8. How does the solar system hold up its pants? With an asteroid belt.
9. What did the biologist wear to impress his date? Designer genes.
10. Why do astronauts never get hungry after launch? They just had a big launch.
11. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid.
12. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? You may have graduated, but I have many degrees.
13. Why did the mushroom get invited to every party? He was a fungi.
14. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
15. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
16. What do you call friends who love math? Alge-bros.
17. Why did the two 4s skip lunch? They already 8.
18. What’s a mathematician’s favorite dessert? Pi.
19. Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend? She needed space.
20. How do you organize a party for scientists? You plan it to the atom.
21. What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.
22. Why are protons always so upbeat? They stay positive.
23. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb? Geometry.
24. What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.

Sports dad jokes

1. Why did the soccer ball quit the team? It was tired of being kicked around.
2. Why do basketball players love donuts? They can dunk them.
3. What do hockey players and magicians have in common? Both do hat tricks.
4. What’s a golfer’s favorite letter? Tee.
5. Why did the tennis player get a cold? Too many drafts on the court.
6. Why did the runner quit chess? He couldn’t find a checkmate on the track.
7. Why are baseball stadiums so cool? Every seat has a fan.
8. What’s a boxer’s favorite drink? Punch.
9. What do you call a pig that plays basketball? A ball hog.
10. Why did the bowling ball go on vacation? It needed a break from the gutter.
11. What’s a quarterback’s favorite dessert? Turnovers.
12. What did the bowling pins do when they got scared? They went on strike.
13. Why did the basketball player bring a pencil? To draw up a foul.
14. Why are frogs so good at baseball? They always catch fly balls.
15. What did the football say to the player? I get a kick out of you.
16. What do runners eat before a race? Nothing. They fast.

Music dad jokes

1. Why couldn’t the athlete listen to music? He broke the record.
2. What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa.
3. Why did the singer go to the bank? To check her balance.
4. Why are pianos so hard to open? The keys are inside.
5. What’s a balloon’s least favorite music? Pop.
6. Why did the music note go to jail? It was found guilty in the first degree.
7. How do you make a band stand? Take away their chairs.
8. What do you get if you cross a fridge and a radio? Cool music.
9. Why are pirates great singers? They hit the high Cs.
10. Why couldn’t the tuba player get a ride home? He blew his chance.
11. What do you call a dog that plays the piano? Bach.
12. Why don’t music teachers ever get lost? They always follow the score.

Home and DIY dad jokes

1. Why did the house go to the doctor? It had window panes.
2. Why did the hammer feel so important? It always hit the nail on the head.
3. What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
4. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
5. Why are couches so trustworthy? They always have your back.
6. I’m great at fixing broken lamps. I really brighten up a room.
7. Why did the dryer break up with the washer? It was tired of being taken for a spin.
8. Why did the paint go to bed early? It was tired after two coats.
9. What did the drill say to the wall? I’m boring.
10. Why don’t clocks ever go hungry? They go back four seconds.
11. I tried to catch some fog this morning. I mist.
12. Why did the broom get a promotion? It swept the competition.
13. What do you call a house that’s always cold? A brrr-ownstone.
14. Why are kitchen sinks so calm? They just let everything drain away.
15. Why did the measuring tape quit? It couldn’t take the pressure of always measuring up.
16. Why did the bookshelf feel supported? It had great brackets.
17. Why was the doorknob so popular? Everyone wanted to turn it.
18. Why do mirrors make great friends? They always reflect on things.
19. How does a plumber make friends? He pipes up.
20. Why did the stairs get grounded? They kept stepping out of line.
21. What’s a couch’s favorite kind of music? Sofa-sticated jazz.

Travel and car dad jokes

1. Why don’t mountains get cold? They wear snowcaps.
2. I’m reading a book about traveling by train. It’s riveting, and right on track.
3. Why did the car get a flat tire? There was a fork in the road.
4. Where do cars go swimming? In the car pool.
5. What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream.
6. I bought a broken GPS. Now I can’t find my way out of this conversation.
7. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrr.
8. What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolks-wagen.
9. Why did the traffic light turn red? You’d blush too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
10. How do you know when the moon has had enough? It’s full.
11. Why don’t hotels ever run out of rooms? They always have suite deals.
12. What kind of car does a sheep drive? A Lamborghini.
13. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away.
14. How do you know a plane is sad? It’s in a tailspin.
15. What do you call a road trip with Dad? One long pun-ride.
16. Why do bicycles make good friends? They’re always wheel there for you.

Nature dad jokes

1. What did the tree say when spring arrived? What a re-leaf.
2. Why did the cloud date the fog? He was mist-ified.
3. What kind of flower grows on your face? Tulips.
4. What did the volcano say to its sweetheart? I lava you.
5. What do you call a rock that never goes to school? Sedi-meant to.
6. Why did the river get rich? It had two banks.
7. What did the grass say to the lawnmower? Mow you later.
8. What did the rock say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite.
9. Why do flowers drive so fast? They put the petal to the metal.
10. Why did the leaf go to the party alone? Everyone else was already falling.
11. What did one autumn leaf say to the other? I’m falling for you.
12. What do you call a tree that won’t stop talking? A chatter-oak.
13. Why did the flower ride its bike to work? It wanted to petal faster.
14. What did the bee say to the flower? Hey bud, what time do you open?
15. What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.
16. How do mountains stay warm in winter? They put on their snow jackets.

Dark dad jokes (but still clean)

A little spooky, never mean. These skeleton, ghost and graveyard dad jokes are as dark as we go.

1. Why don’t graveyards ever get overcrowded? People are dying to get in.
2. Why did the skeleton stay home from the party? He had no body to go with.
3. What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.
4. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
5. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.
6. Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
7. What do ghosts serve for dessert? Boo-berry pie.
8. Why do witches wear name tags? So they know which witch is which.
9. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
10. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
11. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

How to rate a dad joke: the groan-o-meter

Not all groans are equal. Use this scale to rate today’s dad joke, then hit the rating buttons in the dad joke of the day box at the top of the page.

How to tell a dad joke like a pro

Running out of material? Bookmark this page and check the dad joke of the day each morning. For more family fun, try our corny jokes, funny things to ask Alexa and would you rather questions. Father’s Day 2027 is Sunday, June 20, so start practicing now.

Dad joke of the day: FAQ